This week, I’ll go high at Red Rock Conservation Area, get some live theater at The Onyx, and take it easy in Chinatown. And I’m ready to ask the question of a lifetime: Could Quentin Tarantino help me find enlightenment?
THIS WEEKEND
- Visit within the page: Red Rock Conservation Area | Or visit their site: www.redrockcanyonlv.org
- Pamplemousse | www.pamplemousserestaurant.com | 400 E Sahara Ave, Las Vegas, NV 89104
- Sand Dollar Lounge | thesanddollarlv.com | 3355 Spring Mountain Rd, Las Vegas, NV 89102
- The Onyx Theater | onyxtheatre.com | 953 E Sahara Ave 16B E, Las Vegas, NV 89104
- The Green Door | greendoorlasvegas.com | 953 E Sahara Ave, Las Vegas, NV 89104
- For ALL the places we’ve gone in 2016, click here!
Saturday started with a me, Brian, and the Ryans on a drive out to Red Rock Conservation Area for a hike up Turtlehead Peak.
RED ROCK
Turtlehead Peak
When I say that, it really makes it sound like I know what I’m talking about. I don’t. This was only the second time in my 12 years living in Las Vegas going up to Red Rock (and getting out of the car).
You can look around here almost see the violence of the natural Earth.
Which is kind of sad, really. The fact that there’s this place called Red Rock just minutes away from our city is so cool. This beautiful museum of 600 million years of natural history, preserved beneath the Pacific Ocean – now preserved by us humans – a geological classroom of limestone and volcanic ash – faultlines colliding millions of years ago to create dramatic cliffs and beautiful surreal rock structures. You can look around here almost see the violence of the natural Earth. And we can just… go there.
Actually, Las Vegas is surrounded by protected land. Check out this map.
But anyway we hadn’t gone there. Until this weekend. Further, I definitely would NOT consider ANY of us to be even AMETEUR hikers. Yet for some reason, we thought that these credentials qualified us for the only trail in Red Rock labeled “strenuous.”
And it was. There were areas that we learned consisted of ‘technical scrambling.’ Red Rock had these signs at the beginning of the trail guiding the way, then the signs downgraded to spray-painted dots on rocks. Then eventually the dots just stopped. That’s when I knew I was in trouble. Although right at that moment, we take a break next to a dude doing the same hike we were, but carrying a one-year-old on his back. So…
The big sign downgrade happened at the “saddle.” Funny, we joked about running into a mountain sherpa, then we definitely ran into this guy that might as well have been our mountain sherpa. Except he was just some regular looking dude with a baseball cap, a gut, and a tucked in golf shirt – definitely to this day a popular fad of the baby boomer generation. He was super nice and obviously knew a thing or two about Red Rock, and told us all about where to go and which way to come back down.
It was about an hour and a half up. At the top, views in every direction. In one direction, it looks back into the Red Rock Canyon; and the other way, into the Las Vegas Valley.
BEAUTY
I couldn’t have green-screened it better!
Beauty is interesting, isn’t it? It’s completely arbitrary, right? Except that it’s not.
It’s this thing that’s programmed in us for one of two reasons: to help us with our survival, or to help with the survival of our species.
- We find babies beautiful because if we didn’t, they wouldn’t last very long. They’re annoying. And needy.
- We find certain attributes of our sexual partners attractive either because they signal to us that they’re a healthy person ideal for childbearing (muscular men, women’s hips, breasts, skin), OR because the attribute signals they’re sexually active/ready (open mouth, red lips, blushed cheeks, perspiration, etc.).
- We like colorful things because color signals edible fruits. In modern times, bright, colorful things probably mean kids toys – surprise – or you’re at Harrah’s. (‘Yey, beads! $15 for yard glasses of frozen margarita! I’m having so much fun!’)
- And why is Red Rock beautiful? What’s beautiful about the view from tops of mountains? The ability to see your enemy coming from very far away.
Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
– Confucius
There was a little fisherman’s box at the top for people to leave little trinkets that marked their presence, and someone had written on a rock ‘the path less traveled.’ For some, it’s not about leaving one giant legacy to survive them, but a thousand tiny ones.
Beauty is interesting, isn’t it?
Someone died on this same trail like a month later. No kidding.
On the way down, we decided that with a couple hours experience, we’re now professional mountain scalers, and we went off trail. Maybe it was the weed. Straight down into the valley, through brush and over loose rock.
For some, it’s not about leaving one giant legacy to survive them, but a thousand tiny ones.
We were on one side of a valley, and opposite us was the trail we came up on. We could see people walking the trail on the other side. I’m pretty sure they were pointing at us saying, “Look, there’s dudes over there. Holy crap, that doesn’t look safe. Should we notify someone or something?”
But we survived Red Rock. And I’m pretty sure I complained a lot. But I’m glad I did it. I’m even more glad I didn’t get eaten by a snake or something.
People willingly, deliberately leave the comfort of their homes and cities and spend hours and days and weeks out in the wilderness just to ‘appreciate it.’ I find that interesting. Are we so far removed from nature that when we find ourselves surrounded by it, we actually consciously recognize and appreciate its existence?
Have we gone astray? Our most revered leaders in history – Ghandi, Jesus, Buddha – when they found enlightenment, they left everything man has created and went out into the wilderness. Every story. They all involve man finding himself among nature. Going out alone and discovering something about the nature of things, and post facto, about himself. Forcing him to look inward and reflect. It’s in these moments that so many great things have been born.
To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
-Buddha
So why don’t we do this more often? This Red Rock thing. Or anything. Maybe it’s because we don’t truly believe in our heart-of-hearts we can scientifically prove that enlightenment is a true goal. A real thing. Enlightenment could be a wild goose chase at the end of a rainbow, or some other mixed metaphors. How do we know when we get there, anyway? Will there be a little fisherman’s box for people to leave little trinkets that mark their presence, and a rock that says ‘the path less traveled’? Thus, believing in enlightenment requires faith.
Enlightenment isn’t a destination, but a journey.
And if you believe all that B.S., then the chase for enlightenment must be a religion on its own. Not part of Buddhism or Christianity or Islam. (Those guys stole this goal and incorporated it. Which was probably a good idea for their sake.) But just enlightenment on its own. Without any of the other silly rules, obligations, or beliefs. See, here’s a well-known scientist:
It is paradoxical, yet true, to say, that the more we know, the more ignorant we become in the absolute sense, for it is only through enlightenment that we become conscious of our limitations. Precisely one of the most gratifying results of intellectual evolution is the continuous opening up of new and greater prospects.
– Nikola Tesla
Okay, so Tesla might have been a little crazy, but who isn’t?
So why don’t we spend more time on enlightenment? Those who are super devout to the idea probably do. That top 1% of super enlightenment-chasers. For the rest of us, we probably just think it’s something we’ll get to later. After all the conquering of family and fortune and all the shit that happens in Game of Thrones. Oh, and watching Game of Thrones! WAY more important than meditation! I just finished season 3…
So many of us have the potential to find enlightenment if we just believed.
In reality, enlightenment probably isn’t a destination, but a journey. An everyday journey to fill our lives with happiness. The good kind. Not the hookers and drugs and candy kind. Not the fleeting kind. True contentment. And so many of us probably have the potential to find it if we just believed.
I think I might be a believer. I just don’t know yet. Maybe more Red Rock in my future.
PAMPLEMOUSSE
Ceci n’est pas une signe!
And who knows more about joie de vivre than the French? After Red Rock, we got together with our ladies for dinner at Pamplemousse. It’s this adorable little French restaurant that’s been just off the strip on Sahara since the 1970’s. It’s a place with a story that’s old enough to be vintage but young enough to be relevant; and a tux-clad server to serve it up alongside the oysters.
Pamplemousse has a really old, beat up looking sign out front, but not because they’re going for that. Inside, the decor is definitively French Cottage. That wood beam next to our table there is from the Nevada mines. The place is quiet, and romantic, and really, really pink. There are pictures of famous historic people on the wall. We had rack of lamb, and escargot, and some Bordeaux, and lots of bread. It was all very French.
More pink than Molly Ringwald’s bedroom
Next up was supposed to be the Onyx Theater. We thought we nailed the timing like a 14-year-old on the pommel horse, but apparently we whiffed by about 5 minutes. And it was too late. As it stated on the ticket, they had sold out and released our tickets because we weren’t there! The guy at the ticket counter was SUPER nice about it, and made sure we came for the Sunday matinee, the final performance of the production. We did, so I’ll come back to that.
SAND DOLLAR LOUNGE
After that, we kept with the theme of old school Vegas. An old dive bar called the Sand Dollar Lounge just got purchased and re-opened by a friend of Laura’s she went to junior high with. It closed down as a dive bar in 2007, and re-opened as a hipster dive bar in 2009. What’s the difference you ask? It’s like internet porn; I can’t define it, but when I see it I know.
‘Taco’ means taco in every language.
The Sand Dollar Lounge offers billiards and shuffleboard (as every good dive bar should). But they’ve also got specialty cocktails named things like “I Get Around” and “Mannish Boy” and a funky collection of beers for guys with big grizzly bear beards, and trendy music-themed art on the walls. It’s just trendy enough.
That bassist looks really serious, until he’s got lead vocals; then he completely transforms.
This place sits right on the edge of Chinatown, but if you’re not feeling up to Chinese food at 2am when you spill out of this place, there’s this oddly legit taco truck (if you can catch ’em). It might have been the jager shots, but the quesadilla was orgasmic.
Live music is their thing. Tonight was The Moanin Blacksnakes, which turned out to be a really fun, really talented blues band. I’m pretty sure Ryan fell in love with Santa Claus on keyboard. They were technically on point, and they appeared to be having a lot of fun, too.
ONYX THEATER
This was no fucking joke.
On Sunday, we went back to the Onyx Theater for a performance of Reservoir Dolls. Yep, that’s just what it sounds like. This NYU grad took Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs, re-wrote it at as a play, and cast it with all women instead of men. Talk about enlightened.
Ms. Orange bleeds from the gut.
Now, I intentionally did NOT watch Reservoir Dogs the movie beforehand; so it has been years for me. But the Lees did, and they said it was translated pretty much verbatim, but with clever little changes wherever necessary, like changing ‘dicks’ to ‘clits’ and ‘niggers’ to ‘bitches’. It was pretty. awesome.
And, it’s Reservoir Dogs. So everyone dies. QT always had this way of making death come so easily. All the actresses had fake blood bags, and the first row was a splatter row. Yes, I took pictures during the show. And yes, it was encouraged. People went up on stage during intermission and snapped selfies with Ms. Orange while she bled from the stomach.
You gotta appreciate QT for what he’s given the world, whether you like his collection of films or not. He’s got more joie de vivre in him than most of Hollywood. He creates little 90-minute works of art that will one day be featured in a museum exhibit with Murakami called “Turn of the 21st Century Class-Agnostic Pop Art.”
Just before the ear gets cut off…
The Onyx Theater was pretty awesome too. 88 seats at capacity, and normal sized popcorn at normal prices. They do all sorts of really fun shows that bring great theatrical diversity to Las Vegas. They produce shit that the behemoths on the strip never could. Our city may be famous for being risky/risque, but not so much when it comes to the live entertainment on the strip. There are just too many thousands of seats that have to get filled 10 times a week. (Absynthe, you’re the exception of course. You manage to persevere with your jaw-dropping awesomeness. High-five, Absynthe.) 
The Onyx Theater lives in Commercial Center. For those of you who don’t know what that means, our show introduction speech included “thank you for braving Commercial Center.” It’s a really awesome, really awkward plaza with a pawnshop, a billiards club, Lotus of Siam – one of the best Thai restaurants in town, RANDOMLY ANOTHER Thai restaurant, a gay spa with rentable hookup rooms and shit, and of course, the infamous Green Door. So yeah, Las Vegas is an crazy town that can have all of this in the same plaza as the Onyx Theater. Maybe it all makes sense somehow, I dunno. Onyx did produce Hedwig this year.
THE GREEN DOOR
Ironically just about everything on the outside of the building is green EXCEPT the door…
We popped our heads into the Green Door. Talk about enlightened…
‘Best Place to People Watch’? You bet your ass!
We weren’t there for swinger sex or even the voyeurism, just for a friendly conversation with the door guy. He was an overweight hispanic dude with visible piercings (and probably some that weren’t visible, too), and he was definitely amused by our sense of out-of-place-ness. Didn’t matter – it was early and the place was empty. I guess swingers come out at night.
We miss you, Jerry!
Admission is up to 75 bucks per couple at the door, and they started charging for single ladies because they were “having a prostitution problem.” Also, their red room is now painted blue. Just FYI.
That award there is for “Easiest Club at Which to Get Sex.” (pictured above) (a) That’s an award, apparently? God, I would’ve LOVED to be in the room when the nominees of that award were discussed! and (b) Duh, and (c) I get that they’re following that odd preposition rule, but it might have been easier to just call it “Easiest Club to Get Sex At.”
It’s interesting to witness movies going to Broadway, and Broadway going to the cinema. These two mediums have a unique relationship. Looking back, Reservoir Dogs in particular is a perfect candidate for play adaptation. Sometimes it works better than others (We’re looking at you, Spider-Man, The Musical).
But at the end of the day, I just love the limitations brought on by one medium versus another. All art mediums come with limitations. When you sculpt marble, you can’t go back. That’s just how marble works. And for an artist to choose a particular medium is for him to knowingly choose a particular set of limitations within which to work; within which to be confined. To master. And to eventually overcome. And artists know this when they choose mediums – and often choose them BECAUSE of the limitations. Because it’s fun to force the limits on yourself, and try to work within them or work your way back out of them.
“The absence of limitations is the enemy of art.” – Orson Welles
To me, what makes plays as a medium so special, and maybe why they’re still around, is having to work within this SUPER tight set of limitations. It’s like how deaf people have really great other senses or whatever. (Is that a thing?) It forces the characters to be superhuman; their personalities have to be skyscrapers; the dialog has to be clever and deep and intriguing and delighting; the story has to provoke you and shock you and create tension and entice deep thought. And it all needs to go somewhere you’ve never been.
What if it were all a distraction?
We went to a play last year called Six Characters in Search of an Author, and adaptation of an old 1920’s Italian play. And it did all of those things so well. I told people it was the best movie I saw in 2015. It made you think about humanity in ways that movies just don’t have to do anymore. Mostly because movies can blow shit up and put things in space, and all-around visually distract and amaze you. Not that I’m not impressed with that. I loved Watchmen and Life of Pi and Mad Max (remake) and The Fountain. It’s just a different goal.
And I get that there are underground films still being made by passionate directors and cast and crews. I just mean that the movie industry has largely grown to become something different. To become reliant on a different set of limitations. It’s more a visual medium than ever before. The CG. The sound and the music. The props and settings. Stunts and awe.
And even if a movie doesn’t go there, cinema just doesn’t have those limitations anymore. And if an artist chooses to keep working within them, it’s arbitrary and forced and hard to pull off.
In plays, there’s just this rawness of two people performing in front of you. This isn’t prerecorded. This is real life. Anything can happen. There’s something exhilarating about that. And we’re all in this room together, feeling and experiencing it together. I like that. We’ll see you soon, Onyx Theater.
Anyway, so we go around building all these things around us. We eat fancy intricate foods, we perform for each other, we drink and play billiards, we go to swingers clubs… What if it were all a distraction? Pulling us in the wrong direction? What if all this time, we just need to go be up on the mountain? More Red Rocks and less Green Doors.
Enlightenment is calling for you every day. How will you respond?
For all weekend recaps, visit maketheweekend.com.
