What do The Fonz, eating standing up, sci-fi thespians, and strippers all have in common? Stick around and find out as we take a journey through cool, from SLS to UFC.

UFC

THIS WEEKEND

SLS Las Vegas put on an event on Friday called Dine & Dash. It was basically a dine-around sampling of each one of their restaurants to benefit Three Square. I think they’ve done this event before in LA. Jackie was invited and we couldn’t pass up an SLS culinary experience. And they didn’t disappoint – every bite was amazing.

SLS Las VegasWe showed up and registered just outside Sayers Club, which involved us handing them our tickets (AND also being looked up by name? Why both?) and receiving two wristbands (two?). A lot of fraud at the SLS, I guess.

Jose Andres @ The Foundry @ SLS Las Vegas

Who’s got an index finger and started drinking 6 hours ago?…

Then they kinda got everyone lubed up with champagne in Bazaar before a demo by Jose Andres in The Foundry (Formerly Life Nightclub).

Jose was on fire, man. I think he started his own private ‘dine and dash’ way earlier in the day. Dash of white powder maybe. He was really fun.

After that, we were free to roam around the casino, stopping into each restaurant, tasting from some passed small plates and specialty cocktails. Little single-bite situations like barely-seared filet topped with foie gras. They didn’t fuck around.

Some restaurants were harder to maneuver than others. At some, the servers couldn’t take 2 steps before being mobbed by exactly as many people as there were plates on their tray, and they had to turn right back around again. It was white collar socialites’ closest experience to a food relief package being airdropped on them.

But I feel like that’s part of the SLS experience. It’s that sense of, you know, so much demand it’s chaotic. We managed to fill up. (Thanks Annie!) Especially when we discovered that no one had discovered Umami Burger, and that meant gobs of sliders and beer. With the quantity and variety of liquor that was available, I’m surprised we didn’t get drunker than we did.

That picture on the right is a meat carver doing his thing on a gogo dancer’s podium behind some table games. Genius.

SLS

SLS Las VegasI don’t care what anyone says, I really like how the SLS turned out. I think it’s a cool place with a cool vibe.

I mean, that’s what they’re selling, right? Wynn is selling you a chance to experience luxury; the Stratosphere is selling you amazing 360-degree views; Luxor is selling you a chance to live in a fucking pyramid or something… SLS sells cool. It’s a place where you wanna be, because it just feels good. You feel like whatever it is, you’re in on it. Or maybe you’re not, but you’re close to it, and if you hang around long enough, they might let you in. But probably not. That, and the beautiful people…

I don’t know a better act to follow than Fomato Fridays at The Sci Fi Center. (Just read that sentence again. Go ahead, I’ll wait.) That’s right – for a limited run, Fridays means they take to the stage at The Sci Fi Center and perform Bad Head – a Sci-Fi extravaganza about doctors that just want to experiment on human bodies. The twist: audience participation is necessary. Get yourself some foam tomatoes before the show and toss them at the actors as you see fit. Just like the good ol’ days of theater, right Shakespeare?

The Sci Fi Center

Show me a sign!

The Sci Fi Center
Bloody Bear @ The Sci Fi Center

Just the kind of place this place is.

The Sci Fi Center is this comic book shop off Arville and Trop. This guy always dreamt of one day having a comic book store. And then one day, he did. (Yay, following dreams!) He’s on his like 8th location or something. It’s deliberately hard to find, maybe for the same reason speakeasies are hard to find. Or maybe the opposite reason, I’m not sure. There are comic books up front and a makeshift theater in the back – emphasis ‘makeshift.‘ This thing holds maybe 25 people.

Yay, following dreams!

The Sci Fi Center

Comics!

The theater is also host to viewings of super nerdy films, like Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Exorcist. And there’s often more to it than that. Needless to say, the whole thing is pretty nerdy.

So nerdy, that I even felt out of place. And I’m pretty nerdy. I just thought man, if I could get all these people to interact with those people at the SLS event…

Cool

Such a powerful juxtaposition makes you think about just what exactly ‘cool’ is.

It’s been called many things. Awesome. Gnarly. Groovy. Boss. Dope. Phat. Even hot. But it’s been there as long as we can remember. It’s that thing [some of us] wanna be. But why? Where did cool come from?

The Fonz

We love you, Fonz! Go ride your motorcycle over a shark or something!

Let’s start at the beginning. All emotions and instincts exist for one of two reasons:

  1. Your own survival.
  2. The survival of those around you. Your family… your community… your species.

It’s basic Darwinism. Instincts and emotions skew toward these two things because if you didn’t have them in you, your chances of survival just aren’t that great. So the result – the world doesn’t have those types walking around. Duh.

I’ve never been cool and I don’t really care about being cool. It’s just an awful lot of time and hair gel wasted.

Chris Martin

Suited Monkey

Silly monkey. His bow tie is crooked.

And survival relies on two opposing forces: risk and safety, with safety playing a dramatically stronger role. We favor safety for obvious reasons – when we see the lion running toward us, the correct reaction is to run the other way. But safety exists in more subtle ways, too. Establishing a home, and good friends, and other habitual behaviors. Habit and comfort are a form of safety, too. And conforming to the norm. Not standing out. WAY better chance of surviving. Just to name a few.

Safety is obvious. But what about risk? Safety may offer us immediate survival, but risk offers us a chance at a better life; the possibility of this magical thing called ‘improvement‘. If we didn’t have an ounce of risk in our bodies, we would never try to cross the river or eat the berry; or in modern times, start that business or ask that girl out. Do these things bring us immediate survival? No. But where would the world be without them? We’d still be living in the trees.

Risk is an attribute for those with not much else to offer.

Evel Knievel

Pure Evel

Just continuing that thought, you know, Darwinian-ly, there’s probably some ideal ratio of safety to risk in all of us, and it’s probably like 95 safety/5 risk. Like, we probably shouldn’t really be that risky except for every once in a while. And that’s probably a pretty fair assessment of most of us.

But we’re not all that ratio. Some of us are riskier than others. It’s a spectrum. And there’s value to that, too. Working together as a tribe, it’s more ideal if some of us are just whacked out crazy, Red Bull-drinking, leather-wearing, womanizing, drug-doing, cigarette-smoking, dare-taking, risk-loving maniacs. Afterall, we need someone who will go test out the new spear on the wild bull. So we send leather jacket guy. And if it works, WE ALL EAT BULL FOR DINNER! If it doesn’t, well, he may die, but the rest of the tribe gains something either way. It might not be that smart of him. But it’s brave. Damn brave.

And that’s what we absolutely need to tell ourselves and each other. Risk is an attribute for those with not much else to offer. The smart guy isn’t risky because he doesn’t have to be. He can invent shit. But what if society didn’t value Mr. Risky? What if we took his behavior for what it was: suicide?

Here’s the rub. Mr. Risky would stop being risky. Society would eventually shun these people into submission. They’d conform or be pushed out into solitude. Nope, that doesn’t work. We need the risky. We need them around, and we need them confident that what they’re doing is a super good idea. So what mechanism do we create in order to achieve this goal? You guessed it: Cool.

What kind of cool does SLS evoke? Duh, they’re from LA. Their ‘cool’ is not caring. Arguably the best kind. And the riskiest.

The problem is… the ‘cool’ factor – seeking risk – works out really well in a world full of constant fighting and struggle and barbarism – a cool of yesteryear. The world we lived in for hundreds of thousands of years – the world that created this dynamic.

But as with other instinctual vestiges, society has evolved faster than leather jacket guy. AKA We don’t need what we once did, but it’s still there. This broke the formula, and left us with some pretty weird shit. Like roller coasters and motorcycles. Guns. Snowboarding. Horror movies. We all have a little bit more risk than we need – and some of us have a LOT more risk than we need. (And we all know who those people are.)

And the other thing that’s still around? We still think all of those things are cool – as is those who partake. We wanna hang out with the guy that gets all the girls. We wanna do keg stands to impress him (even though we do NOT wanna do keg stands to impress him.) Many of you among us still look up to The Fonz. To James Dean. To 2Pac. To those who challenge the order. To the reckless. To the partier. To the bad guy. To any people and ideas who offer up a plate full of satisfaction for this little itch inside all of us.

Conversely, a nerd is just the opposite. Someone who’s truly confident. And thus, doesn’t need any approvals.

But who knows. Maybe we’re evolving. Maybe there’s a new cool. Maybe what’s cool about SLS is just doing a bangup job. Just being really great at something. Maybe we’re starting to appreciate that as cool. Maybe we’re evolving. I’d like to think so.

Being cool is being your own self, not doing something that someone else is telling you to do.

Vanessa Hudgens

UFC

On Saturday, Jackie and I enjoyed The Kitchen Table for brunch, and some amazing coffee at Mothership Coffee. I only mention both of those because you absolutely need to try them. That’s all I’ll say.

UFC @ MGM Grand Garden Arena

What’d you say about my mama?

Then The Brians and I went to the UFC fight. Not because any of us are huge fans, but when you got tickets…

I understand the main fight(s) on the ticket bowed out on injury, so most of the bouts weren’t exactly the most interesting ones we’ve ever seen. We left halfway through the “title fight” (in quotes).

I mean, what was that I was saying about a pathological amount of risk?? Seriously. How does this sport and those like it still exist?

Ellis Island

Jean-Luc Picard, everyone

After that, I guess we felt like drinking for 8 more hours or so, because I’m pretty sure that’s what we did.

It started at Ellis Island, where we found this guy, and a whole room full of karaoke lovers. What was that about taking risks again? There’s nothing like getting on a stage in front of friends and strangers and doing something you KNOW you’re not good at. Needless to say, we did NOT sing that night.

Ellis Island is a great place for cheap drinking, gambling, and dancing with strangers. And apparently singing badly. And, there’s a Metro Pizza inside!

Then to The Artisan. Sometimes being cool is about faking it. Maybe to fit in. Maybe to get the attention of the opposite sex. Or maybe just to take part in something new and different. But when I fake it, I do it at The Artisan. People faking it ratio: usually around 50/50.

We’ve stayed at The Artisan before. 64 rooms, each themed after a different artist. The lobby is like none other. It’s dark, and full of medieval art and people on drugs.

Last time I was at this place, we stopped by the [top-optional] pool area. It was a crazy scene of mostly strippers getting their tanline-free bake before the big show that night, and other colorful characters that are too fringe to belong at a major strip resort, so they landed here at The Artisan instead. One lady was dancing around with burning sage. I’m pretty sure she was keeping the bad stripclub patron juju out. Anyway, the pool was closed tonight. We were there for the lounge. But since it didn’t get going until a little later, we killed some time at Treasures Gentlemen’s Club.

Treasures is “one of the good ones.” I mean, it’s up there, I guess. It ain’t great. But shit, compare that with ANYWHERE America. New York City, even. I dare you. Las Vegas operates gentlemen’s clubs in a league of our own.

It’s also one of the bigger clubs. Up there with Sapphires and Spearmint Rhino. “Good” just means that it usually commands more attractive female entertainment. But not always. My personal favorite is actually Club Paradise, not just for the attractiveness, but for the customer service (been a long time, so don’t quote me). I know that sounds dumb, but it matters! Clarification: Men don’t want to look at beautiful women. Men want beautiful women looking at them, and finding them interesting and funny. That’s what we can’t get in our everyday life. So much more important.

Anyway, it was packed. Talk about acting cool and faking it. Here’s a place where all the women are pretending to be interested in the men, and all the men are pretending NOT to be interested in the women. It couldn’t get anymore backwards than that!

What’s cool about Las Vegas? That we can have so many people coming from so many parts of the country and the world, all after the same mission: To find their cool. Whether they’re here as tourists or here to stay, the motivation is the same. There’s something undeniably exciting here, and people want to be a part of it. It’s the Vegas cachet.

Las Vegas looks the way you’d imagine Heaven must look at night.

Chuck Palaniuk

Maybe they initially came because they enjoyed gambling, or drinking, or partying, or prostitutes, or sticking their head out sunroofs of limousines, or roller coasters, or singers, or great steak, or maybe just some steady work. Maybe they’re individuals, or maybe they’re a hotel chain like SLS that wants to play the hospitality game with the big boys in Sin City, or maybe they’re theater troupes, or celebrity chefs, or amateur poker players, or UFC fighters, or strippers, or … whatever.

Maybe that brought them here. But they stay for a different reason. They stay because of the feeling. They stay because of the cool.

When you find yourself around the cool, try to understand it. Try to dissect just why you think it’s cool in the first place. Then ask yourself, should I? What kind of cool is for me?

For all weekend recaps, visit maketheweekend.com.

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